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Attitude is Everything: Divorce Mediation in Belleville, Illinois

Adjust Your Attitude About DivorceIn the early days of the process, getting a divorce can feel like the end of your life as you know it. After all, you have likely spent many years devoted to the same relationship.

Now, you must consider your life moving forward without the other party. Especially if you are not the one to file for divorce, it can feel like your life is over when divorce becomes inevitable.

However, divorce can be a very positive thing for you and the other members of your family. Adjusting your perspective on the potential divorce can help you make better decisions and have an easier transition into a positive lifestyle. Remember, you have resources and tools available to you like divorce mediation (in St. Clair county this has become popular), or an experienced divorce attorney in Belleville, IL.

Try to keep your emotions out of the decisions you make

Divorce is a very tense time where you must make important decisions quickly about your future, as well as the future of your children. While you may have strong feelings about your living situation, the assets you have acquired and custody of your children, those emotions will not help you. Setting them aside and focusing on the rational likelihoods in your divorce is in your best interest.

Support groups, close friends and therapy can help you work through the emotions. Divorce court or mediation are not the places for you to address the issues you have with the end of your marriage.

When you come to the mediation table or arrive in court, your sole focus should be on finding a mutually agreeable resolution to the outstanding issues in your marriage. Focusing on practical concerns will help ensure that you have the foundation for a good future.

Staying positive sets a good example for your kids

Divorce is one of the most difficult things that either you or your children will ever experience. Doing your best to remain positive and focused on the future during your divorce will set a very good example for your children. They learn through watching your behavior, as well as by listening to your advice.

When they see you handling a stressful situation with grace and working together with their other parent to resolve issues calmly, they will emulate that behavior as they grow and mature. The more respectful and considered your approach to the divorce is, the less conflict your children need to witness. Overall, that can do a lot to reduce the strain of the divorce on them.

By keeping things positive and focusing on the future, you not only make the divorce process simpler, you set yourself up for future happiness. Don’t focus on what was lost. Instead, think about the fresh start you will have once the divorce is over.

Wilson, Dabler & Associates, L.L.C.

14 South Second Street
Belleville, IL 62220

Satellite Office (by appointment only)
216 North Market Street
Waterloo, IL 62298


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Fax- 618-235-1617




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8:30am-5pm Monday-Thursday
8:30am-4pm on Fridays
Closed for lunch from Noon-1pm
After Hours Appointments Available